The Universal Need For Unconditional Love And Acceptance.
by David Woodward

What is it about unconditional love that appeals to the heart of every human being? Is it that love given unconditonally regardless of action, reason or motivating factors is so unattainable in most human relationships? Is it that to be given love for no purpose other than just love is so unusual when compared to the impurity of our own hearts and motives?

Or the emotions of almost every man, woman and child have a crying out need to be filled. Or perhaps to receive unconditional love is the deepest desire of every human heart?

However we reflect on it, we acknowledge that to receive love unconditionally is very rare for the vast majority of people in the world that we live in today. Some will not even be aware they need it. And yet most will consciously or unconsciously yearn for it.

And to be accepted? Don’t all of us desire just to be accepted for the real us – “warts and all”. And yet predominantly we are categorized, valued, placed and accepted by what we have achieved, what we look like, what we do, etc. That acceptance is based on whether we ‘fit the bill’. The problem is that others decide what  criteria make up ‘the bill’.

Most times we can never achieve or attain this, but we can spend a lifetime, if we are not careful, struggling, performing, striving, chasing – but never quite getting there – our goal or endless quest to be accepted or approved. To meet the pre-conditions which other peoples’ worldviews or expectations have laid out for us.

The challenge can never be won. The game goes on and on. Like endlessly chasing our own tail. Coming close, but never quite getting there. Like a football game where we keep thinking we may be able to score the final goal, only to find extra play has been declared – and the goalposts have been moved anyway.

So, what happens? Is there even a solution? As recognised earlier, there is a fundamental element of the human condition that cries out to be accepted and loved. But more than that. To be accepted and loved WITHOUT PRE-CONDITIONS.

To be given this……Our hearts cry out for that deep, soaking, freely given acceptance and love. But – more importantly – for it to be given without conditions or attachments.

Where can we get this? Is there an answer to the deepest need of the human heart? Can another meet our heart’s deep cry? Can it happen? Or do we give up and acknowledge that this is unattainable – and cease our searchings?

It has been claimed by some that it is only in the person of Jesus Christ – and in his claims to be God come down to earth in human form – that we will ever find perfect love and acceptance. Given unconditionally. for ever. Many others would respond that this is nonsense, preposterous, misleading, blasphemous even…..

It cannot be denied, however, that this claim has caused contention, strife and even conflict in the last two thousand years. Whether WE believe it or not is a personal – even confidential – matter. But certainly, unless we attempt to answer questions of life, we will never get the answers.

 (David, is an experienced counsellor, and runs his own counselling service in Kettering.)